Smoke and Mirrors
by Nozomi
Summary: [SetoJou] 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you', otherwise things could get ugly. A certain blond has had it with the 'puppy' comments and the general cold attitude, and has decided on an unusual form of revenge...


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Disclaimer: Not mine. Not even the plot, because it was inspired by a yummy Tokyo Babylon fic. Gotta love SeishirouxSubaru.

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Pairings: Jou/Seto/Jou, Yami/Yugi if it'll fit, and possible future Honda/Otogi/Honda

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Genre: Humor, Romance, perhaps a bit of drama towards the end as well

I have rated this fic 'R' because I anticipate a lemon in the future, but if none pops up, I will rate it down. Just a heads up. ^.^

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Smoke and Mirrors  
_Prologue_

"Dammit!" Katsuya Jounouchi's fist connected solidly with the counter of the Kame Game Shop, causing his best friend Hiroto Honda to jerk up from where he'd been leaning on said counter, and then to scowl at him.

"I know you're mad, but you don't have to take it out on us, Jounouchi. Besides, aren't you the one who started it?"

"Started what?" Ryuuji Otogi inquired lazily from where he was sprawled haphazardly across the very same abused counter. "What's got you all fired up?"

"What else?" Honda asked in reply, glancing dryly at the long-haired youth. Technically, Otogi had no real reason to be at the shop with them, as Shizuka, what Honda had thought was his only motivation for hanging around Yugi and the gang, wasn't there. Otogi, however, had simply muttered something about a 'brother complex' and 'bound to show up sometime', given Jounouchi a significant look, and sat down.

"Damn that bastard Kaiba," Jounouchi growled, brown eyes blazing.

"What'd he do this time?" Otogi asked, lazily tracing patterns on the polished surface of the wooden counter. 

"Posted pictures of Jounouchi in a dress all over school today," Honda answered matter-of-factly, backing away from his blond friend slightly when Jounouchi's face contorted in rage. He quickly clapped a hand over Otogi's mouth before the emerald-eyed youth's burst of laughter could escalate into anything more than a squeak, pulling back when Otogi threw him a lazy glare.

"How'd he manage something like that?" The dark-haired youth inquired, smirking, but keeping an eye on Honda's hand-- if it got any closer to his mouth, he'd see how much the spike-haired boy liked getting bitten. "Or is there something you're not telling us, Jounouchi?"

"Shut up!" Jounouchi ground out. "That's what I asked him. He said 'the wonders of computer technology, mutt'," the blond lowered his voice for effect, and managed to adequately capture Kaiba's disposition, "and then stalked off like he owned the world or something!"

"Mm. That Kaiba's a bastard, sure," Otogi acknowledged, shifting to lean his chin in his palms, "but doesn't he usually have a _reason_ for doing things like that? He's crazy, but not _that_ crazy."

"What Jounouchi failed to mention, Otogi, is that last week he phoned in a pizza delivery to Kaiba's house," Honda grinned, catching his friend in a headlock, "at two in the morning, in fact. Twenty-five pizzas."

"That was smart."

"Sure it was!" Jounouchi protested, fighting the hold Honda had on his neck. "How would the jerk ever figure out it was me, huh?"

"Who else would play such a menial prank on him, Jounouchi? Certainly not Yugi," Otogi twirled a bit of hair around one finger, looking thoughtful. "He'd have to know who it was, although I do admire your determination to go by the book."

"The book?" The blond asked, slipping out of Honda's grasp.

"That trick's the oldest one in the book, next to asking him if his refrigerator was running-- which he wouldn't fall for. You need to act with a little more finesse if you want to get one over on him."

"Like what?" Jounouchi slumped into a seat next to Otogi, looking vaguely interested.

"Something original. Something he wouldn't ever see coming."

"I repeat: like what?"

"Yeah, really," Honda interjected. "This guy's the genius of the school. He'd see anything Mr. Conspicuous was planning a mile away."

"Hey!"

"Right, right..." Otogi mused, eyes glazing. The two stared at him expectantly for a moment, before he stood up suddenly, grinning. "I'll think of something, Jounouchi. Just give me a day or so." Fingering the silver pendant that hung around his neck, he sauntered out the door. "See you guys later. And tell Shizuka-chan I said hi."

"Yeah, right." Honda remarked, and folded his arms across his chest.

**********

Jounouchi massaged his temples, feeling a headache coming on. At the front of the class, their Math teacher was giving a lecture about tangents and their importance to building certain types of establishments, and the blond couldn't seem to concentrate on a word of it. He shifted in his seat, feeling twitchy, and sighed. Honda was busy writing something on a sheet of paper he was concealing under his text book, Yugi was staring dreamily off into space, Anzu was studiously taking notes, and Otogi was smirking as several different girls tried to pass him notes.

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Probably declaring their undying love. The blond thought, grimacing. His eyes widened as a thought struck him. _That's it!_

Quickly searching around for a relatively clean piece of paper, Jounouchi picked up his pencil and scribbled something onto one side, then folded it up. With a quick glance to make sure the sensei wasn't looking (he never was), the brown-eyed youth smirked and took aim.

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Thunk.

Seto Kaiba twitched as a flying paper ball hit him in the back of the head, and turned around to glare death at whoever had dared mock him. His eyes narrowed as he saw the puppy studiously bent over his desk, seemingly taking notes, and carefully not looking at him. _I'll believe _that _when I see it, mongrel._ He scowled and picked up the offending paper projectile, reading the single word scrawled inside. 

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'Jerk.'

As if he could mistake that sloppy handwriting. He smirked and picked up his pencil. So the pup wanted to play word games, did he?

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Thunk.

Jounouchi resisted the urge to jump as something was deposited between his curved arms. He blinked at it for a moment, and then realized that it was just his note, with something added in a neat handwriting that definitely wasn't his.

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'Puppy.'

Damn it. The bastard was already getting to him. The blond scrawled something else and returned the volley, noticing Kaiba dodge it without even turning around.

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'Cold-hearted bastard.'

Kaiba returned in a matter of moments.

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'Worthless mongrel.'

'Stuck-up rich boy.'

'Dirt duelist.'

'Stick-up-your-ass.'

'Loser.'

'FUCK YOU.'

'No thanks.'

Jounouchi growled softly to himself, resisting the urge to jump up and wrap his hands around the young CEO's stupid neck. Instead, he ripped up the piece of paper into miniscule pieces, slowly and methodically, counting to a hundred to try and cool down. He didn't need another suspension this year.

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Thunk.

'I win again, mutt.'

"Damn it!"

**********

"Jounouchi-kun, why were you throwing notes in class?" Yugi Mutou inquired as class let out for the day, gazing up at him with wide amethyst eyes. "I thought only Otogi and the girls did that."

The blond scratched his head thoughtfully. "I dunno, Yug'. Seemed like a good idea at the time. That way that rich bastard couldn't retaliate by shootin' off his mouth," he grinned sheepishly. "And now that bastard's gotten me a Saturday detention!" He seethed. "Someday I'm gonna get him back for all the humiliation he's put me through, ya know, Yug'?"

"Jounouchi!" Otogi drawled, sauntering up and slinging an arm around the blond's shoulder. "Can we talk for a moment?"

The blonde gave him a sideways, wary glance. "What about?"

"Oh, nothing special, I guess. Just about what we were discussing yesterday."

The blond blinked, before realization alighted in his eyes. "Oh, right. Hey Yug', can ya wait here for a sec?"

"Sure, Jounouchi-kun!" The shorter boy smiled up at him.

Otogi pulled the blond over to the other side of the room, a slight smirk on his face that sent warning chills up Jounouchi's spine. "So? What's up?"

"How's your _lovely_ sister, Jounouchi?"

"Otogi, get on with it. I have important stuff ta do today."

"Like what?"

"Like annoy the hell outta Kaiba."

"Ok, then. I've thought of how you can get back at him, if you've got the guts." The dark-haired youth stated, with no more attempt at preamble.

"...How's that?" Naturally, with the cat-like glint in Otogi's eyes, the blond couldn't be too careful.

"It's simple, really," Otogi twirled a lock of dark hair around one finger, causing a number of his groupies to squeal in delight from across the room. "What's the thing that bugs you about Kaiba the most? The thing you're always complaining about with him?"

"He's a bastard."

"_Yeah_, but..."

"A cold-hearted bastard, at that."

"Exactly!"

Jounouchi blinked. "What?"

Otogi sighed dramatically. "Jounouchi. Kaiba bugs you because, one, he mocks you, and two, you can't get a rise out of him when _you_ try to mock _him._"

"...Where's this goin'?"

"_So_, get a rise out of him a different way. If you say he doesn't have a heart, make him _get_ one."

"Otogi--"

The green-eyed dice player smirked. "Make him fall in love with you."

"..._What?!"_

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Heh. Is it just me, or is this like some cheap romance novel on crack?

You see what I mean about torturing my favorite characters? ^.^;

Anyway-- it's been awhile, ne? I hadn't realized it had been this long since I last wrote anything until I checked the date I posted the first chapter of BSoP and found that it was six months ago. @.@ So I've started writing again.

And yes, _Broken Shards of Pottery _WILL be updated in the next couple of days, since I've written about half of the next chapter. If it isn't up then, feel free to harass me until it is. @.@;

By the way, dear readers, I have an exact idea of _where_ I'm going with this story, but no real idea of _how_ to get there, so any suggestions are welcome. In fact, I'd love to have someone to bounce my ideas off of, so drop me a line if you're interested. ^.^

C&C much appreciated, and will be rewarded with many smiles and more fic.

'Till Then--  
Cheers!  
Nozomi


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